Woe is Me

I was late to class today because Old Naked Man happened to have a locker in the locker room that was right below my locker. I ran away and did abs for fifteen minutes and he was still there.

One Month Celebration

I'd like to take just a brief moment to commemorate this day as our one month anniversary of living in a car (though technically you can't call it an anniversary until its a year, but stupid boyfriends and girlfriends do it all over the nation so excuse the defficient gramar).

So...what do we have to say after one month of living in a car? I wanted to answer this question with some querky comment about how hillarious this whole thing is but the truth is we're loving it. It probaly seems somewhat like a joke to most people but in reality a lot is going on. When you can step away from the distractions of daily TV, comfortable couches, easy meals and soft beds, your mind starts to examine life a bit differently. John and I list all of those things only because to a point they can all be our own personal vices in complacency, but it really is an incredible experience to separate ourselves from those things in order to push and challenge ourselves to a different way of living. Now all I have to do is find a wife who won't mind traveling the country with me living out of the back of a 1990 Toyota 4runner. Hopefully she doesn't mind tuna and canned peaches.

Anyways, I just want to wish a happy one month to the 4runner. I guess if we're going to continue to get close like this I'll have to give her a name.

I (John), would also like to add to this post. In honor of the one month celebration I thought it was necessary to put in a few words. To be completely honest I love what is going on. It is interesting to see what type of people we become or can be when in this situation. I know that we have both learned a lot about ourselves. I have become extremely organized. I know that Jon has said it already, but I am doing great in school, we get great sleep, and we are in great shape. With the small annoyance of the rain the first two weeks of school the semester has been amazing.

One thing that I would like to note is that my realtionships with other people have been better than ever. I was cautious at the beginning to call home. I knew that my parents weren't in favor of my living situation. Through this four week progression I have realized that no matter what I actually chose to do they were still going to be there and love me. It was encouraging and funny to me the first time I called home. I was calling to check on weather or not a UPS package showed up in the mail. My dad picked up and immediateley said, "Is everything ok? Do you need anything?". At that moment I realized I had no reason to be anxious to call home. Along with that my relationships with my friends and siblings are great too.

The Rec You Don't Hear About

Given our current situation, it seems fitting to honor one of the most resourceful places that we've utilized while living in our car: the rec. As we've already talked about, we end up spending close to four hours a day there since we have no where else to go, and because of that we end up seeing a lot of strange and unexpected sights. One of the largest obstacles that we've had to overcome is the old naked man who seems to inhabit the locker room at all times. Both of us (at separate times of course) appreciate a good swim and certainly the use of clean shower but this means that we have to confront one of the most horrifying sights in all of mankind. Let me lay it out like this, and try to take a moment to live in our shoes for empathy's sake.

Fatigued from my Michael Phelps sized swim workout, I enter the locker room in hopes of a cleansing shower to culminate my rec experience. As I walk into the locker room in a carefree manner, I am immediately met with a white fleshy figure in my peripherals. As with all fight or flight situations, I cower close to my locker focusing all of my attention on steadying my shaky hands enough to open it up. I desperately try to draw out every process of storing my back pack and getting out my workout cloths in hopes that he will eventually feel the need to clothe himself. It seems that whatever this old man is doing, he has specifc business located in multiple areas of the locker room because he randomly walks around (naked) for a awkwardly long amount of time.

I realize that for whatever reason, old men seem to be more inclinded to walk around naked in locker rooms. This man, however, carries out every order of business in the nude. The most detramental part of the experience is when he lifts his leg up onto the chair for some unkown reason and bends over for a solid two to three minutes. Maybe he's stretching but I think we can all agree that there may be better places to do that. Eventually he feels the necessity of putting on a shirt, but that is only a trick to make you think the trauma is over, for he has only put on a shirt and is still stretching on the chair.

Now you may feel slightly disturbed at the depth of detail, but its only to help you visualize the pain we must go through, and the frequency of the event. The worst part is, when he is in stretch mode, the other half of the locker room is off limits for walking behind him would require years of psychological rehabilitation. So this is the point where I pull my "crap I've lost something in my bag and its taking me fifteen minutes to find it" ploy. John and I have never witnessed this event at the same time, but have encountered it so many times that we can't help but get this off of our chests. Thanks to on campus counseling we've been able to heal from our traumatic experiences and are on the road to recovery. For that reason we've started the Foundation for Survivers of Old Naked Man in Stretch Mode or FSONMSM for short. If you've had this experience, there is help out there.

There's Even a Bathroom Flap

So due to the ever watchful eye of the Wal-Mart parking lot garbage picker uppers, we've indefinitely moved to the CSC parking lot. It's a nice change. I gotta say though as much as I loathed the endless amount of rain that we got, its not the most enjoyable experience to have the sun slow roast you in your car while you sleep at 9am. I'll be looking forward to my favorite season of the year as it rolls in.

We've been making our dinners these days at Everly Park in the shelter since they have electricity and then we just let good ol George Foreman do his work. Since we've made the rec our first home, we've realized that we need more protein and calories in our diet. So its chicken breasts and tuna for us. When we returned to our forsaken mother, Wal-Mart, we must of looked like we were shining examples of good will and generosity. We stood in line buying a massive amount of canned foods. Canned vegetables, peaches, pineapples, tuna, oranges, pears, corn etc. But really, all of that tastes great and its so cheap I'm amazed at how much I don't need to spend on food. It's not that we're poor, we've just become a lot more economically conscious which is a good thing.

On a small, completely unrelated note, I can't understand why looking ridiculous became fashionable. I saw a girl today with the largest bug eye sun glasses I've ever seen. You know who else enjoyed an outlandishly large pair of glasses from time to time...Pee Wee Herman. You got your ugs...they are called ugs. And you got girls wearing giant rainbow colored galoshes when it rains. Its almost impressive.

I've been thinking about a few different ridiculously bizarre styles that I can try to start myself. Maybe sleeveless polos, Ninja turtle masks, and my favorite, casual wear footie pajamas. The day to day routine of dressing sucks. Put on your pants, find a clean (matching) pair of socks, and then put on your shoes (not to mention, lace them up). With footie pajamas its a one and done deal. Slip em on and out the door. But seriously, I almost stopped the girl to ask her if she thought she looked good wearing those sun glasses, but thankfully God bestowed me with an extra helping of chivalry.

Not quite the Fuzz

I've been constructing a list of things that living in a 4runner cures:
If you want to be in shape, live in a car
if you want to be a better student, live in a car
if you want to grow closer to God, live in a car
and recently I've decided that if you want the best sleep in your life, live in a car.

For whatever reason (maybe our genius architectural ability) everyday we wake up we feel completely refreshed. Regardless of what time I have to get up I always feel like I had a great, comfortable nights sleep. With the exception of this morning.

I woke up today to the sound of a voice incredibly close to my window. I very calmly waited for my sleepy eyes to adjust until I peaked out the window to see a man in a yellow vest looking at our cars and talking into a walkie-talkie.
"Yeah, they've been here about two weeks...I'm not sure...It looks like it." I couldn't hear what the other end was saying but I carefully rolled over.
"John. cops." I whispered through the sheet that we'd hung between us (I put that line in there to assure everyone that though two guys are sleeping in one car, its not as weird as you think. I mean, we got a sheet hanging down to separate us. It's like my own little room, or coffin). "What should we do." I asked. My wise friend profoundly decided we should just keep sleeping and wait for them to do something. I was decently tired so that seemed fine to me. Plus I wanted to ride the Walmart train as long as we could. Eventually we grew too paranoid of every car that drove by thinking it would be a tow truck or something so we peaked out the window again and then got out. There were no cops, no sign of cops, no tickets, nothing. I started thinking I might have dreamt it but as we pulled out of the parking lot, there was an employee picking up trash wearing a yellow safety vest. He stopped and glared right at us as we were leaving. I'm not sure if they would have done anything about us, or if they were going to call the cops but we just decided its better to keep our situation in our control so we've moved locations...but don't you worry because this just keeps getting funnier and funnier.

The Fuzz

Our primary mode of transportation consists of riding our bikes from the Walmart bike rack to campus. Our first week here John was riding his bike and a cop car pulled him over demanding that he should've stopped at the stop sign like cars do. From what I understand the conversation went something like this...
"Do you have insurance for this bike?"
John: "uhm, no"
Cop: "Right, no one does. What if you'd hit my car because you went through that stop sign? You'd have no insurance to pay for the damages would you?"

Luckily John got out with a warning. I've never heard of a cop pulling over a bicycle. We told him he should've just booked his bike through campus since the cop was in his car, but John is a law abiding citizen. To my knowledge, the pedestrian always has the right of way so if i get slammed off my bike by some car, i think my lack of bike insurance won't really be an issue.

Yesterday I was in the rec just before it closed and decided I really needed to shave before another day goes by so I went to the bathroom at 10:50 (it closes at 11pm). Apparently the staff were in a hurry to close up so some guy quickly opened the door and keyed all of the lights off while i was still shaving, at which point i preceded to cut my lip in the pitch black. It bled for over half an hour and I had to use my cell phone as a torch to find my way to my locker and quickly pack my stuff up in complete darkness, and only partially shaven.

The beginning

You may be asking yourself: "self, why would anyone choose to live in a car for a full semester while at school." My answer: Its not a car. Its a Forerunner. But I forgive you for that oversight. We're going to try and fill you in on our first experiences here (of which there are my hilarious details) and then give you an idea of how life is living in a Forerunner on a day to day basis so you can share in our shock as random people pull up and look into our car as we are sleeping, or our triumph after riding our bikes through a midwest monsoon to school, and our shame as we dry our socks and shoes for 45 minutes under the automatic hand driers in the bathroom shortly thereafter (Actually, that was a very hilarious and proud moment for me and i feel no shame). Millions of people have millions of questions about our system for making this work so if you want you can ask away and we'll try and answer them. Its already been hilarious, and a great experience and its likely that it will only get better.
Jon