The Rec You Don't Hear About

Given our current situation, it seems fitting to honor one of the most resourceful places that we've utilized while living in our car: the rec. As we've already talked about, we end up spending close to four hours a day there since we have no where else to go, and because of that we end up seeing a lot of strange and unexpected sights. One of the largest obstacles that we've had to overcome is the old naked man who seems to inhabit the locker room at all times. Both of us (at separate times of course) appreciate a good swim and certainly the use of clean shower but this means that we have to confront one of the most horrifying sights in all of mankind. Let me lay it out like this, and try to take a moment to live in our shoes for empathy's sake.

Fatigued from my Michael Phelps sized swim workout, I enter the locker room in hopes of a cleansing shower to culminate my rec experience. As I walk into the locker room in a carefree manner, I am immediately met with a white fleshy figure in my peripherals. As with all fight or flight situations, I cower close to my locker focusing all of my attention on steadying my shaky hands enough to open it up. I desperately try to draw out every process of storing my back pack and getting out my workout cloths in hopes that he will eventually feel the need to clothe himself. It seems that whatever this old man is doing, he has specifc business located in multiple areas of the locker room because he randomly walks around (naked) for a awkwardly long amount of time.

I realize that for whatever reason, old men seem to be more inclinded to walk around naked in locker rooms. This man, however, carries out every order of business in the nude. The most detramental part of the experience is when he lifts his leg up onto the chair for some unkown reason and bends over for a solid two to three minutes. Maybe he's stretching but I think we can all agree that there may be better places to do that. Eventually he feels the necessity of putting on a shirt, but that is only a trick to make you think the trauma is over, for he has only put on a shirt and is still stretching on the chair.

Now you may feel slightly disturbed at the depth of detail, but its only to help you visualize the pain we must go through, and the frequency of the event. The worst part is, when he is in stretch mode, the other half of the locker room is off limits for walking behind him would require years of psychological rehabilitation. So this is the point where I pull my "crap I've lost something in my bag and its taking me fifteen minutes to find it" ploy. John and I have never witnessed this event at the same time, but have encountered it so many times that we can't help but get this off of our chests. Thanks to on campus counseling we've been able to heal from our traumatic experiences and are on the road to recovery. For that reason we've started the Foundation for Survivers of Old Naked Man in Stretch Mode or FSONMSM for short. If you've had this experience, there is help out there.